Monday, June 9, 2014
God is still the same....
Yep. That's exactly what you think it is. As if this stick with it's little "plus" sign is the end all means of determining whether or not someone is actually pregnant (and not, say, going through menopause....)
Alrite, so I've given up on the whole menopause thing. The nurse at my doctor's office told me last week to take a test. Why? I had 18+ days of elevated temperatures, I technically do not have to take a pregnancy test.
Isn't this a Catholic hospital I go to?
Regardless. There are still people, even in Catholic medical circles, that rely on ways of determining pregnancy, like the irritating, pee on a stick for 5 seconds, no more, no less or you'll screw it up, test. I suppose I could have requested a blood test, that is, after all, the most accurate, but at that point, I was still in denial. My heart knew what was happening, my mind knew what was happening, my body certainly knows what was happening, (can anyone say nausea like mad?) but I hadn't let the three connect. Mostly due to the fact that the final connector, my soul, was still in a serious state of shock.
Shock. Why shock, Catholicmomma? Aren't you and your husband open to life? Didn't you just preach to your moms group how incredible NFP works and causes communication?
Yes, yes I did. But that was then. Right? The rules can change for me when it isn't what I had planned right?
Just because things don't go exactly the way WE have planned them, doesn't mean we suddenly get to change the game.
The game is still the same. The planet still rotates around the sun, the sun still rises in the East and sets in the West, the calendar year still shows 365 days most years (366 for leap years- covering those who always like to point out my mistakes....)
God is still the same. Yesterday, Today, and forever.
Even when things we didn't plan happen.
Like a pregnancy.
Don't get me wrong- when you have sex, unprotected most especially, you are opening yourself up to getting pregnant. I am very well aware of this fact and do not need a lesson in biology. I LOVE how God made a woman's body. I am very saddened by so many women who ignore how He made our fabulously scientific bodies and how they operate each month, almost like clockwork, temperatures, with estrogen, staying low until ovulation. Once ovulation occurs, (with all the signs and wonders externally AND internally)the progesterone levels slowly rise until our temperatures stay elevated and once again after a time the luteal phase (that's the phase after ovulation) slowly drops the temperature and voila- a woman has her period.
The food we eat, the drinks we drink, the medicine we take, the sleep we get, the emotional state we allow ourselves to be in all affect this amazingly great scientific wonder God created. Us! Females!
The way a man and a woman fit perfectly (mostly- even if he's super tall and you're super short- it still works) together like a puzzle piece is no mistake. That intimate puzzle piece connected together, holding each other as God intended is the most beautiful image I can think of next to Jesus Christ on the cross- I find that image the most beautiful because He did that for ME. Before I ever existed. So only next to that, the image of a man and woman, loving purely, uninhibited, un"protected" for a lack of a better term, is the most beautiful image I can think of when I think of love.
So yes, back to the same game plan.
I know of so, many people who find out once the game changed, they don't want to play anymore. They want the rules changed. They don't want to try anymore because this.is.not.what.they.had.planned....
Well, shame on them. And shame on me. Because I felt that way initially. Remember, my thoughts? My fears? My shame? My humiliation? (I'll give you a great example of this in a minute - I went to the eye doctor today- yea- humility right up there....)
Shame on us for deciding once things didn't go the way WE had planned, dreamed, schemed, we decide no one on earth understands what we're going through and we're done. The rules are going to change and that's that.
Yep. Basically that's what we're saying.
God- I can't handle what You've allowed to happen (as though God forced my husband and I to be together) and I'm getting out. (going on the pill, considering termination, etc etc) This is all your fault because had I not been so in love with my faith I wouldn't be......xyz....
Get what I'm saying?
Did my adorable handsome husband and I plan this baby? No.
Was it very clear in our hearts that pregnancy is something that can come from marital relationship with a spouse? of course we knew that
Did we understand the Church's teaching on birth control? Absolutely and agreed 100%
Did human error cause this tiny miracle? Yes. I counted my chart wrong. Period. I counted the days wrong. God didn't "cause" this anymore than me believing that I can do everything without His grace....
Do people still continue to blame God and tell Him that they didn't "plan" the misery, sadness, heartache in their lives so they want out? Yes.
Do they continue to try to change the game plan without understanding "our" plans aren't always "His" plans and perhaps we should open our eyes to another way? Of course.
Life is always going to bring good things, and always going to bring bad things. We are sinners. We are bound to fall, each and every one of us, and when we do, how are we going to let it determine our game plan?
Are we going to throw in the towel and say, "I quit?"
Are we going to tell God, "Well, God, that plan was nice, but it got all messed up, so I'm changing things up a bit."
I see this happen in my Church a lot.
Over birth control, marriage, sacraments, you name it.
A husband and wife get pregnant. Totally unplanned by them of course, but in order to insure it never happens again, the husband has a vasectomy. He says, "we tried that NFP thing and it didn't work."
Well, guess what? They didn't take NFP, they didn't understand the fertility cycle and they weren't even charting. Can they honestly say they "tried NFP?" Most couples who actually practice NFP and chart and take their temperature, do so with an open heart that God knows exactly what they can and can not handle. I had no pressing medical issues that required us to be extremely vigilant with my chart, so of course, it goes with out saying....
A couple just decided they couldn't work out their marital differences, so they divorced. They both want to meet and marry other people, but can't understand why the church won't grant their annulment. They quit. They gave up on each other. The plan didn't go the way "they" envisioned, so they divorced. They hate the church for being so "rigid" about divorce.
Why can't they just divorce? Why does the church take such a hard line in determining who's marriage was valid and who's wasn't at the time they made their marriage vows?
I don't know about you, but when I married my husband almost 18 years ago, I'm almost positive, when I said, "in good times and in bad" I wasn't thinking I'd have to live in New York....
But there it is. It good times and in bad. In sickness and in health. Til death do us part.
Well, for most of us, we don't envision sickness on our wedding day. We don't envision moving away from everyone we know and never EVER, EVER moving back as long as we live. We don't envision waking up one morning and finding out the person we married isn't the person we married. We don't envision losing a spouse to an affair, or worse, drugs, or alcohol abuse. We don't envision on that amazing wedding day that one day, 18 years later, they'd be staring at a pregnancy test and wondering how on God's green earth were they going to afford to feed and cloth and provide for SEVEN CHILDREN......
But once the shock is over, once we've been able to sit down and examine everything that has happened- we realize something....
God is still the same.
Yesterday, Today, and Forever.
Are we willing to accept the changes, lean harder on Him, and Trust in Him, and Understand that He can make all things good?
All things. We have to trust. Trust. Trust. And then? Trust some more.
Will God reveal to my awesome, adorable husbster and I the great plan He has for us as an "old" pregnant couple with their 11th pregnancy and God willing, seventh living child?
No. And quite frankly, I don't want Him to reveal that. It might be more than I can handle seeing what all will happen in the next 18-20 years....
Will the game stay the same? Who knows. Will other "problems" arise? Who knows.
There is only one thing we do know. One thing we know for absolute certainty. One thing we can be assured of for all time... And we will cling to that.
God is still the same..... Always....