Thursday, June 9, 2016

To Veil....

I can't believe it's been an entire month since I've typed up a blog.  It's not that there isn't anything crazy going on at crazycatholicmomma's house, for sure.  Chaos is an  Just this morning I was thinking about a friend of mine who has two young children and how she feels overwhelmed with mornings getting one out the door for school....

Try 5 out the door, 2 tazmanian nut jobs, and 1 incredibly tired momma..... And I got no "super hero" amount of energy.  I assure anyone, but I'm jumping ahead of myself....

To veil.

I have, for years now, been feeling this insane tug to wear a veil to Mass. 

Now, before all my cultural Catholics tell me it's outdated and I'm bringing Catholic women back into prehistoric, archaic times, hear me the heck out.

And, double NOW, before all my Catholic holier than thou, if you don't veil you're a loser, Catholic women start in with, "finally, we've swayed her to the right side," hear me out as well.

Neither one of you are correct. 

Ha.  So offend away, CrazyCatholicMomma.....

So years.  Years.  Years, I've been feeling this insane tug to get a veil.  And it's one of those, subtle tugs.  The one where you're in Mass in a strange town and you see a woman veil and think to yourself, 'wow, that's so beautiful, but I could never do that.  Like ever.'

I always tell me kids and anyone who asks, be careful what you say.  Be careful when you say, 'I'll never do........whatever....'

Because God has a way to soften your heart just when you think you're set on how your life is going. Like that time I told Him six kids was more than enough for me..... ha.  Good one, God!

And before I get to the beautiful scriptural and traditional reasons I want to veil, I just want to point out something that even Captain Obvious would be able to see....

It's not like I need anything else in my life to make me more of an attention getter.  I don't know about you, but when all nine of mine file into Mass (fairly early most Sundays, so it's not insanely obvious) we attract attention.  Lots of attention, because we sit on the front row.  You know, cause I'm egotistical like that. I LOVE everyone to see my business and what better place to sit than the front row so you.can.see.everything.  EVERYTHING.  Even when I decide to nurse a baby.  Oh yea, I'm that woman, too.  Making you sweat yet?  Hold on.  I will.

So we sit right up front.  When I have a little toot who either decides to belt out a scream that could wake the dead, or another toot who decides that at.that.moment. she is going to pee in her pants if we don't leave immediately, everyone sees it.  The good, the bad, the ugly.  We are seen. 

So putting on a veil and sitting there with Team Chaos?  Yea.  This wasn't something I accepted with Mary's fiat.  I was a stubborn, dumb, little 2 year old when God wouldn't leave me alone about it.  I mean, stubborn.

My convo with God went something like this:

God:  I would like you to veil. 

(ummm- clarification here-He did not speak to me in an audible voice- but that's the message my heart got-to veil)

Me:  hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahahaha.  That was funny....

God:  I would like you to veil.

Me:  For real.  Good one.  I got enough on my plate. I like to blend into the walls.  I have a hard time with nine people blending.  Ain't gonna throw a veil in with it.... Thanks tho!  I think Jane down the road might be interested....

God:  I would like you to veil.

Me:  What?

God:  I would like you to veil.

Me: Is this a joke?

God:  I would like you to veil.

Me:  I think I must be hallucinating.  That's it.  Too many kids, not enough sleep, must be hallucinating....

God:  I would like you to veil.

Me:  I will pray about it, Lord.

That conversation went on for a while.  Like a few years.  When I finally agreed to pray about it?  The amount of signal graces that flooded me were crazy.  Articles I would come across about veiling.  Blogs, ads for Veils to purchase.  Running into people I knew who had family who veiled.  It was insane.  I mean, if you were me, you would run screaming the other direction it was so crazy.  But I kept seeing each one and telling Him I was praying but just wasn't sure.  I wanted to do it for the right reasons. I didn't want to do it because I thought I was better than anyone, or thought other women should follow my lead, in fact, I would be the first to tell you, don't!!  If you're doing it because someone else is doing it?  That's wrong!!  God's will should be the only thing that matters and today, I saw that.  Today I saw the words, "God's will should be all that matters."  Which was kind of my thank you from God for ordering the veil I ordered.  I haven't gotten it yet, it takes a few weeks, but when I do, I know, I'm certain, God will once again bless me with a  grace to not be afraid of wearing it.

But what started it all was an article I read that actually confirmed for me what I was worried about.

Does the Church speak against veiling?  Did it "do away" with it? 

What Happened to Headcovers at Mass?

This article was the first thing I came across when I wasn't even researching veils.  Just telling God I would pray about it.  Literally, people.  It was on my Instagram account I keep for our Catholic Women of Buffalo group for conferences.  I was blown away.

There is a video on that link at the bottom that was my second answer to veil.  It was beautiful and it summed up in words what I couldn't articulate for my own reasons to veil.  I had it in my heart for a while that I wanted to glorify God in the Eucharist more devoutly, more reverently, because my children, my husband and I (and half the congregation around me) were so distracted by this that and the other, that I felt in my heart, if I could sit there and reverence Jesus' body and blood, that He would be pleased with my feeble attempt to show Him we do love Him and we do worship Him.  I wanted to offer up all of my humiliation for Him, which believe me, if you don't think I suffer from humility with seven kids, you're crazy.  I wanted Him to see that this crazycatholicmomma, with her seven crazy kids and her awesome crazy superhero hubs, wanted to offer herself up, her humility, to glorify Him in the Eucharist.

Because you see, I have a very seriously awesome understanding that the Eucharist is the true body and blood, soul and divinity of Jesus Christ.  And no matter if you just receive one species or both, you are receiving both His Body and His Blood.  Truly.  And His words are crystal clear in the bible.  Matter of fact, so clear, it baffles me how 1) people can "redefine" what he "really" meant and 2) people can walk away from the Catholic church.  Period.  Ever.  No matter how "misunderstood" they are about a certain teaching/issue, they can literally just walk away from His true, physical, presence.  His Body, His Blood, right there.  Not only that, but walk away from a piece of Heaven during the Mass.  No other faith believes what we believe.  NO other faith.  None. 

No one believes the host, communion, wafer, cookie, juice, wine, are truly Jesus Christ's Body and Blood.

That is huge and I can promise I'm speaking truth.  His words teach us.  John 6 is the best place to research this.  You can also see where St. Paul admonishes the people of Corinth for practices during the Eucharist that went against what he taught them, which makes it pretty profound that there was a certain way to celebrate the Eucharist (the Mass).

So when this idea of veiling was presented to me from God, I laughed because I already adored our Lord in the Eucharist and although not many people truly understand, or there would be standing room only even at daily Mass, I knew in my heart enough that I didn't need to glorify Him in some super obvious, trying to look holier than thou way.  At all.  No.way.  Not.happening.

But God has that way to really soften our hearts when it's something we really know in our hearts is something He wants...

Believe me, I'm in no way trying to convert women to my choice, it's purely out of reverence to my Lord and Savior.  His opinion is the only one that matters with this decision, I did put it by my superhero hubs and he didn't say it was a bad idea at all.  We already stick out in a crowd, pretty sure, one more thing to make us "noticeable" won't scar him too terribly....

But read the article I posted above.  Matt Fradd does a great job of pulling in scripture and tradition and canon law and it just affirmed for me my reasons. 

This blog appeared right before I ordered my veil.  I actually had a few veils in my cart before I came across this blog.  It was kind of funny how it appeared just at that time.... Hmmmm.... Grace....

Why I wear a Head Covering....

Yes, there are die hard Catholics out there who will believe I have been "swayed" to the right side, that we should ALL be veiling as women in the Church.  Yes, there will be progressive Catholics out there who will shout I'm a fool to bring back such ridiculous practices.... but I deal with a difference of opinion in my home about a gazillion times a day, so a few more unsolicited opinions on my life choices won't be the first, and certainly won't sway my decision. 

I want to glorify my Lord.  I want to cover my head so my focus is completely on His body and blood.  And I want to veil.

Most of the statues I have of the Blessed Mother in my home have Mary wearing a veil.  If it was ok for her, I think it's ok for me.