Changing Seasons....

You may be wondering what you're looking at and why on earth I would make this awkward basement photo of a Sam's club box with a few baby clothing items on top as my lead in to my blog which I haven't even opened for six months...I wonder myself, but rarely do I question when the Spirit moves me to write or prompts me how to start my words.

I'm not the best writer.  I'm not even the best speaker, I've spoken at a number of events and no one is beating down my door to get me to share my stories with them, but.....

I love to story tell.  I LOVE to share my faith.  I absolutely love when the opportunity arises to share moments in my life that I think impact us all.

Since you know I digress like crazy....back to the picture.  I've been slowly but surely going through all of our 'schtuff.'  As you can imagine, a family of 10 tends to accumulate quite a bit o crap.  Not only do we accumulate stuff, but we are really good at destroying the stuff we accumulate.  I often joke about my kids being able to destroy an anvil.  I really mean that....

A steel anvil.  Don't underestimate my kids ability to not destroy this...

So the last few weeks, I've been slowly collecting boxes and boxes of things we no longer use, need to go to the dump because I'm a firm believer in not giving other people my crap, or just will never use and someone could probably benefit from our donation....
It's a slow and painful process now, because I'm on the clothing.  I have so many generous friends who have given us tub loads of clothing.  TUB LOADS.  So, for years, I cull each season and keep what the next child can use (with seven girls, this is very handy having so many girl clothing boxes...)

But...now we've reached a moment in our lives that has for lack of a better word, knocked the breath out of me....

We are in a changing of seasons.... But I don't mean summer to 9 months of winter... I mean, changing from expecting babies often...

I am going to try to write this without bawling like a baby and having my 4 year old and 2 year old become frightened of their old momma sitting at the computer sniffing and snorting as she relays her emotional hormonal life's story......


That box.

Inside that Sam's club box is the last of my baby clothing.  All the burp clothes, little onesies.  Sweet little snowman hat.  Tiny little socks.  The little hand mits for my babies who had razor sharp nails and sliced and diced their faces daily.  Little soft washcloths.  The first outfit my oldest almost 20 year old daughter wore home from the hospital so long ago in Little Rock, Arkansas.  The sweet little frog outfit my 18 year old son wore for his 1 year old picture that Walmart photo studio just happened to have a little green frog to put beside him that matched almost perfectly.

There are hats they wore home from the hospital.  There are sweet "little sister" suits.  Tiny jackets that I still can't believe were ever big enough for my 8+ pound babies.  An entire box of memories right there.  As i loaded each outfit into the box, I felt something I can't explain completely.  I will try, but like I said, I'm not good with words, but maybe you can relate....

With each outfit, I would sigh, remembering the baby who wore it.  Most recently our #8.  But some of these outfits brought back WAVES of memories.  Long nights with baby #3 because she struggled with reflux that always seemed to rare it's ugly head between the hours of 3-5 AM.....

Nervous nights as a first time momma, when I would sit there and literally listen to my oldest breathe wondering if she was breathing "right."  (my super hero hubs would tell you that Children's Hospital of Little Rock made quite a killing on this first time mom and her worrisome self....)

Nights of realizing after sleeping for 7 hours that the boy you thought would never sleep through the night, finally did at 4 months.  This was after spending the first three months crying 24/7.  No lie....

Days of trying to wrestle 5 children in and around the walmart cart as I dutifully tried to balance a newborn and 4 children 5 and under and not make a huge scene getting a few days worth of groceries.   All the while subject to the typical comments common with large families...

"you know how that happens?"  (I think we've figured it out, yes.)

"They make something you can take to stop them from coming..." (no lie- been told that)

"Do you have a tv in your bedroom?"  (are ya kidding me.....)

Pictures of my babies flood my head as I try to remember each one at this age of clothing (0-12 mos) and I am full of love and also, a bit sad. I'm ready to give all these things away.  I've no reason to save them for "the next one."  It's time to be done with this age of clothing. And my heart is sad!

Sad you say?  Well, yes!  For 22 years, my husband and I have been open to life.  Meaning, nothing unnatural stopped us from having babies.  Nothing still does, but we are both older and realizing that while we are open to life, we are feeling the call that we've filled our home with who God wants us to have at this point.  I've always, ALWAYS, felt that baby nudge after each birth, eventually.  And, minus the 4 years of infertility and multiple miscarriages, we've always been open.  Meaning, we didn't set out to have more, but we knew it could happen and if God wanted it to, it was gonna happen.  Especially when I tend to miscount my charts.....

So as I packed away these clothes, my heart hurt.  No more pregnant belly.  No more kicks.  No more hiccups.  No more rubbing on a tiny hand or leg and feeling the baby on the other side push as though she was trying to hold my hand, too.  No more wondering if we'll have a girl or boy- we pretty much figured all girls after four straight....

Sad may not be the right word.  Bittersweet.  I love having babies.  Being pregnant was difficult for me after my four miscarriages.  I always carried hesitation in my heart for the first 20 weeks or so.  I very nearly died after I had my 7th.  But to know that my time to carry babies is now ending, brought about many emotions for me.

I know, I know, I know.  I am too old.  Or, maybe I'm not really done.  Or, don't you care about the planet and overpopulation (let me insert my giant eye roll there, please....)

I have, apparently, a good possible 10 years until full menopause and my husband just turned 50 this week.  God is still in control.  And as much as that drives some people nuts, it's mine and my superhero hubs rule of life.  If we are gonna talk the talk, we must walk the walk.

And boy is that walk hard.

Our lifestyle is anything but "cool" in this day and age.  But how I've loved the last 19 years.  Always looking forward to another milestone of a new baby's birth.  The older ones loving and caring for the baby.  Some of them even praying for more siblings every night.  (others claiming they were adopted and would like to find their adoptive parents.....)

But that box.

It's sitting by itself in my room.  I'm not giving it to the charity that is picking up our things next week.  I'm saving it for a pregnancy center.  I've pulled out the best pieces and tossed the ones I wouldn't put on my own babies, let alone a strangers baby.  I have chosen three outfits out of that entire box to hold on to for a while longer.

One is the outfit I spoke of earlier that my oldest came home in.  There is something about that moment we officially came home with this baby that makes me never want to part with that gown.

Another is the outfit I wrote about that my son wore on his first birthday.  There were very few things he didn't destroy as a rambunctious baby.  Either with spit up or crawling, or just digging and being in dirt.

The last outfit is a dress given to me by one of my aunts.  It's a gap dress and my oldest wore it when she was 6 weeks old and I had about $700 in pictures taken of her in it and my youngest wore it around the same time and I took the pictures myself of her in it.  It too, brings back all 19 years of childbirth/baby time in one fell swoop.

Baby #8 in the dress my #1 wore as well.

Some would say, it shouldn't be so painful.  You should be glad to be done with baby time.  I think sometimes, our guarded hearts say things like that to protect our true thoughts on those things.  I thought I was too old to have Agnes.  I was 44.  But that child has brought us as much, if not more joy than our first because, well honestly, mostly, because we are tired.... haha.  But also, because we aren't so worried about every little thing.  We enjoy them more now.  So when I hear people say, "aren't you glad to be done?" Or, "you're done, right?"  I think it's more self preservation on their part assuring themselves that they have no regrets on their child bearing decisions.  I can't control their words to me, but I can, deep down inside, weep with them as I realize I'll most likely never carry another baby in my womb again.  I have been blessed beyond what I deserve.  I can not thank nor praise my Lord enough for the many blessings in my life.  Even with the crosses, He always has shown me the blessings, too.  He reminds me daily with each gift of life, that He is truly the Author of Life and my superhero hubs and I have participated openly and with very little regret.

So the changing seasons for me is so much more than summer ending and fall starting.  It's about boxing up the past and looking forward to what the future holds.  It's about knowing we are open, but also knowing we must be prudent and proceed with care.  Understanding that we can say we are "done" but know that 'thy will be done...'   It's bittersweet.  And the memories can sustain us, pictures can make us smile and bring a tear to our eyes.  Change is never easy.  But with time, gets better.  Thanks for letting me share this little "secret" with you.  Thanks for letting me be a bit more vulnerable about something I hold so dear to my heart.  And know I am praying for you.  Please pray for me. 

Week 4

Hi.  I haven't blogged in a while and actually decided a few months ago I was done with writing.  But my heart always nags me.  It also nags my children, my husband, my pastor, my friends.....

I might be seeing a pattern here.  But for the sake of preserving myself from brutal honesty, let's stick to my heart nagging me...on a daily basis... shall we?

It's been nagging me to write because writing is something I absolutely love to do and there has been so much on my heart lately.  So, in true Catholicmommaupnorth fashion, this is going to be all over the place.  Maybe if I wrote more regularly, I could stick to a topic...probably not.  Those of you who know me, know I can talk...and talk, and talk and talk........

This is actually me talking to a friend...

So it's the start of the fourth week of Lent.  Is Lent as exciting for anyone else out there as it is for me?  I mean, I may look forward to Lent a little more than the average person and it could be considered odd at best.  Who looks forward to trying to plan six or seven meat free dishes for a family of ten?  Or trying to stick with Lenten sacrifices with said family of ten..... Or trying to just survive Lent with a family of ten....

I am seeing another pattern.  

I love my family of ten. 

I love Lent in a way that doesn't mean I look forward to denying myself and being all scrupulous (I might not even be using that technical term correctly, but what I mean is self torture or self loathing because I'm not worthy and I should be doing things to shame myself into being a better person...)

I love Lent because I need Lent.  I NEED that time of denial, self sacrifice.  Self control.  Slowing down.  Being at Church more.  Reading and really soaking in the word of God.  I have some really great women in my life, one of whom is my 19 year old daughter, who have created a little Lenten Lady's study and it's been a game changer.  We've of course perhaps bitten off more than we can chew each week, but the we all seem up for the challenge, minus the fact I've accidentally had two sweet sodas and a caramel latte from Panera the last week..... sorry ladies....

The struggle is real...

But we are doing a number of challenges and it's been actually really good for my focus.  I tend to see about ten million squirrels a day and honestly, my phone has not helped me with that one bit.  I have a love/hate relationship with my phone because I would LOVE to turn it off for the day, but these pesky humans in my home sometimes need me and I have a fear of missing something important.  See my struggle?  It's real.  But this Lent has been somewhat different.  I haven't abolished the phone entirely, but I have new distractions that are good for me!  

First off, we are doing a book study on one of the best books I've ever read and quite honestly, it's a book I think everyone needs on their nightstand.  It's called, 'Searching for and Maintaining Peace,' by Fr. Jacques Philippe....

Best book EVER...

My friends tend to get annoyed with my comment, "BEST BOOK EVER..."  Ok, I readily admit I'm a 'good Catholic book junkie...'  I wear that title with a tiara and sparkles because in this day and age, there are just some super amazing, inspired by the Holy Spirit writers who have answered the call and answered the call in a HUGE WAY.  Fr. Jacques Philippe is one of them.  This isn't a book you read cover to cover.  It's a book you read sections at a time and listen to the Abiding Together podcast, with Sister Miriam James (can I please bring her to Buffalo and have her speak at our conference?????), Michelle Benzinger, and Heather Khym.

Found on Ascension Presents blogs

They are on the fourth week of the book study and it's been life changing.  To read this book in the smaller sections and really sit and soak in how we let things steal our peace.  It's really opened my own eyes for how I let peace leave me, even sometimes while trying to do good things for God!!  I've really seen how God doesn't want that for me either!  He loves the people in my life more than I love them, so if I'm allowing my peace to be removed, or even stolen, I'm not loving them the way God loves them, or wants me to love them.... WOW.   Just WOW....

I've also been listening to Sonja Corbitt's latest study, Highway to Holiness. Listen, if you don't know who Sonja Corbitt is, I'll try to forgive you, but you need to learn her and her teachings because the woman is changing the way we look at the bible and she's doing it in a beautiful, former protestant turned ON FIRE Catholic way!!  The Holy Spirit is truly guiding her and she is open to where that may lead.  

biblestudyevangelista.com her current study!

I'm also reading her book "Fearless" which is also just jam packed with so much for us women to really take in and take to heart about how the evil one wants to also steal our peace!!

Another BEST BOOK EVER...

I've been reading little bits here and there (remember I said we were taking on Lent like CHAMPS) but I sit with my journal bible and read a few pages and really let the Word soak in and see where I'm letting the demons control my fears and anxieties and call me by my weaknesses.  She's helped me unpack where I need to let go and trust GOD because he is all about love, not fear.  It's been transforming.  Almost as much as her Heal the Father Wounds series, which I highly recommend becoming a friend of the show just to hear that series and listen to it over, and over and over and over.  Because friends....we all have father wounds.  Perhaps caused by fathers, mothers, sisters, cousins, friends, someone in authority, but we all have them.  And we all struggle with our relationship with our mighty God because of those wounds... Alan Hunt wrote a book that was titled, "Everybody Needs to Forgive Somebody..." He was right.  We all have wounds.... But I'm digressing....as usual... :) 

A to the men my dears.....

But getting back to Sonja and her newest study, Highway to Holiness, which is a podcast about where we are as the Body of Christ, in His church, after all the scandal and let me tell you, she has been ON FIRE with this podcast.  The way she addresses where we need to go as a Church and how scandal has been around since the beginning is so helpful.  Especially here in Buffalo, where the scandal has been front and center and most of us cringe when we see a particular reporter and the words, 'Catholic Church,' mentioned on the news... I was struggling with being angry and frustrated but not knowing what to do with that unrest.  But wow has she, in just three podcasts, opened my eyes to what is going on....Plus, it didn't help that I was allowing my peace to be stolen by sending this podcast to everyone I know and actually DEMANDING they listen because it was so powerful and full of great nuggets we all as Catholics could benefit from, some things I've never heard of ever, and the response was......

crickets.....

But God spoke to me in the 'Searching for and Maintaining Peace' book.  He told me to keep sending it to people if it didn't cause me to lose my peace, but that just like the old saying, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink..... you can send fellow Catholics all the amazing Catholic material in the universe (and let me tell you, there is a PLETHORA of materials at our fingertips) but you can't make them read it, watch it, listen to it, buy it, like it, or even care about it.... you.just.can't.  

Well.... you know me.  I'm still gonna ask God, WHY???  I know, He's going to have a doosie of a time when I finally see Heaven and see why, but until then, I love my Jesus, I love my faith, I love my Catholic Church and my heart just breaks into 50 bazillion pieces when I see people not getting it or seeing it, or even wanting it.....

So..... that was a tangent.... I apologize.  No, I don't apologize.  I love Jesus too much to apologize.  We Catholics are pathetic when it comes to knowing our Bible.  For Heaven's sake, we put the darn thing together and we don't give it the time of day....minus Mass and so many people don't even attend Mass regularly, so they aren't even getting the bible once a week anymore....

I am super getting off topic..... Lent.... Lent..... repent..... turn back.....

So we have been having this Lenten Lady study and it's truly been such a blessing to me and my faith journey.  We also are taking some of the ideas from The Fasting Catholic....It's a GREAT website that has some pretty intense ideas about how to have to ultimate Lenten Experience.  Click on the Fasting Catholic to see it! 

Some of the ideas from there are fasting on Wednesdays from meat as well.  Taking shorter showers (I do love my super hot showers....), abstaining from sweets, desserts, soft drinks, alcohol, etc.  It's been TOUGH (hence the Panera Caramel latte....), but do you know what it's been more of?

Refreshing and reassuring.

I still can have mastery over my desires.  I LOVE LENT for this reason.  I was worried about some of the Lenten sacrifices we were being challenged to do.  I come from a history of addiction issues, and to worry whether or not I could 'survive' without some of my desires, gave me a pit in my stomach at first.  Well, minus the falling off the wagon over sugar and caramel lattes, I am relieved that I can discipline myself still after all these years.  It has been reassuring...and taking all of it to prayer and offering it all up for people in our lives has given it an even bigger meaning for me.  My super hero hubs and I both are doing some of the fasting/abstaining together as well and it's been a beautiful few weeks knowing he and I both are offering these 'first world problems' we think are so sometimes hard, for the sufferings of others.... God is so good....

So Lent.  How's your Lent going to so far?  I think we're on day 18 so....still early, but hey- it's NEVER too early or too late to get back up on the horse.  If you've fallen and given in to your sacrifice, get back up.  If you've not prayed much, set that alarm for five minutes earlier and wake up and read the gospel readings.  We are doing a lot more with our Lenten Lady group- but I'll just leave you with this- no sacrifice is too small for God.  He can make good of everything if our hearts are in the right place and our intention is pure.  He loves us, He loves YOU, so much, He will gently lead you and wait patiently as you get back up, every.single.time.  Don't give up on Lent just yet.  It's really just getting going!!!  Let's knock out the next few weeks together, shall we??  :) 

Together we can do it!

The de-humanizing of the American people...

We've all encountered them.  They hide behind their keyboards waiting to attack and embark on a mission to convince you and millions of other people that their opinions and thoughts are the be all end all.  They tirelessly debate without shame calling you names, resorting to swearing to bring their point across.  A tactic they learned in debate class?  Perhaps... I'm guessing if we could see them, they are probably drooling and slobbering over their angry position.
Winning people over to their ideals is their game.  Stopping at nothing to shame you is their plan.  They have an affectionate term we all know as:

Trolls.....

I wish they were this cute...

I'll refrain from posting an ugly troll from The Hobbitt- so for now, we'll pretend they look this adorable.  It can save us from joining their ranks and desires....

Lately, the amount of trolling by my fellow Americans has been astounding.  I follow several news outlets and sites that I moderately pay attention to, I'm one of those old fashioned people that thinks hearing both sides of every story is important, because let's face it, media more and more spin stories in just such a way to stir the pot up and I believe contribute to the angry, hostile, viewpoints of these people.  

Today it's the government shut down that has been plaguing the country.  I and my family are deeply affected by this shutdown, because as you know, my superhero hubs works for the federal government.  And if I was to take the comments made by my fellow Americans to heart, which honestly has been very difficult as of late, I would probably decide this country is full of hateful, hurtful, self appointed government experts who would rather my husband go kill himself than offer any ounce of sympathy for the families of these employees who are still expected to pay the bills, the mortgage, car payments, car insurance, Christmas bills, etc. etc.  

I'm speaking truth when I say these people have zero sympathy for the agents and other employees who are still working and not receiving a paycheck.  Let me remind my small amount of readers who are affected:

FBI, DEA, ICE, Secret Service, Border Patrol agents, TSA, national weather service employees, I'm honestly googling all the agencies and offices affected and it's too much to type.  Google it and get the full list.  AND educate yourself on what being "furloughed" means.  My husband is considered an excepted employee. He HAS to show up at work and can't take any personal days off.  I can't imagine what would happen in the New York area alone if these agents were told to stay home until this shutdown ended.  They impact lives daily and most of the time, we have zero idea or an understanding of what that even means....

I don't even understand it most of the time.  But what I can share?  For the last almost 23 years (his 23rd anniversary is the end of May), he has served his country diligently, NO MATTER WHO WAS IN OFFICE, was on SWAT for a majority of that, has arrested countless criminals who have harmed others, stolen from others, and threatened the national security of our country.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Has arrested people who wanted to harm Americans simply for being Americans.  It's hard to arrest terrorists who haven't committed a terrorist act, but thankfully, many make mistakes and commit criminal acts prior, so these agents have to act quick and work.  A lot.  All hours of the day.  They are on call 24 hours.  Did you know that?  If we're at dinner, and he gets a call, he has to leave.  If we're at church and he gets a call, he has to leave.  He is expected to be available at a moments notice.  Did you know that?  

He's chased people on foot, in cars, in trucks.  He's followed suspects, ridden on garbage trucks, been out and in harms way on more occasions than I care to recall.  The Atlanta Olympic bomber?  He was  a part of that search.  A prison in Louisiana that was taken over by inmates?  He got to go and "help" with that.  One night, he was in a terrible car accident while attempting to get to a hospital to find a baby who had been taken from there by an estranged relative.  I was 9 months pregnant with our third baby.  He wrapped his car around a tree and by God's grace, survived, walking away with a few scratches, sore muscles and a bruised ego because he wasn't able to complete the mission.  There is nothing more terrifying than waking up in the morning to an empty side of the bed where he should be, but hasn't returned yet from a middle of the night mission.  Nothing quite compares to the fear of worrying about someone who knowingly puts themselves in harms way to save others and wondering if he's been shot, or hit by a car, or hurt.  I've felt that panic.  It's anxiety inducing. All because he LOVES HIS JOB.  He loves serving his country in this aspect.  He is one of the few people who knew what he wanted to be from the time he was in High School and stopped at nothing to obtain this position every single day until he left for Quantico that May weekend in 1996.  

But he has a "coosh government job" I'm told.  He's got amazing benefits.  He should of known what he was getting into before he signed up for the job.  AND, the real kicker, if he doesn't have enough money to survive a shut down, maybe he should evaluate his spending.  That one was probably the most annoying because I don't know TOO MANY PEOPLE who are more conservative in their spending than us.  And granted, we do have more children than the average of  two families combined (which is a choice we made because we had the means and the blessings), I have managed to never, I repeat, NEVER go into the red with our spending.  We pay cash for cars, cash for big purchases (just getting two bedrooms added to the basement this summer, we paid cash for all of it.).  We save money and we say no to our children a LOT.  We can't afford to spend money on all the ridiculous trendy crap we call 'toys' for our children and thank God we can't.  We pray about every aspect of our spending and trust that God will always provide.  We also make sure that we give to charities and Church from our daily budget, not from what is left over.  As much as it pained me this time, considering we had no paycheck last week, we both felt it was very important that we tithe at Church.  God has been so incredible to us even in bad times, we've seen His face and hand in everything in our lives, my amazing husband chided me and said, "Wait, aren't you the one who would get mad at me when I would say we're giving too much?" Touche my love...touche....We trust.  We put a lot of trust in a Higher Power and that never sits well with people who do not. 

But as my title suggests, our country, our world really, but since I see it first hand here in the United States, has really taken quite a shocking turn of character in regards to our fellow humans.  We are the first to attack someone for having a differing opinion.  To judge someone in their views of anything that differs from our own.  Quick to attack as if we are the internet police hired to bring about everyone to our way of thinking, as skewed or as good as it might be.  Our anger and attacks make one seriously want nothing to do with our 'values' whether good or bad.  

The government shutdown isn't the only thing people attack.  People will attack our character, our political choices, our Christian way of life (whether it jives with theirs or just in general being a fool to even consider being Christian, it doesn't matter). The topics of attack are endless.  We can find any subject or way of life attackable.  We have become an angry society that has stopped seeing us for what we are- humans.  In need of the same basic rights and comforts as everyone else.  Shelter, food, water, and most especially, love.  

It doesn't matter if we have religion, or don't, if we have a political stand or don't.  If we Support life or don't, or if we want to help with the immigration laws or don't....someone, somewhere, will hate on us and our thoughts and try with all their heart to destroy us publicly.  Shaming us is their number one way to really convince us of their intense desire to convert us......Change us.  Bring us to their desired way of thinking and some even try to convince us, THAT JESUS WANTS THIS TOO....

I'll tell you what Jesus wants.  He wants us to stop all this garbage and nonsense.  He would never approve of someone hiding behind their keyboard and berating another human being no matter how lost or astray one might think they are.  He would never want His followers to assume what anyone else ever thinks because that would be wrong.  We have no idea what is going on in another persons life no matter what they believe or think or communicate to help us assume we know their thoughts or beliefs.  Unless someone has stood in front of you face to face and opened up and shared their ideas and thoughts, NONE OF US have the right to be hate or be hateful, or unkind or uncharitable in discussing ANYTHING with anyone on the computer.  For Heaven's sake.  How low have we fallen as a nation that it's ok to not tolerate hate or unkindness from the group or groups we support but we absolutely unequivocally won't tolerate a differing opinion on anything else.  We can tell others how they aren't living their lives right, but heaven help if they offer a similar suggestion?  In charity?  We don't know what that word even means.  

Today?  Jesus called on four of his Apostles to drop their nets and he would make them 'fishers of men.'   (oops, lest I offend those who think he merely meant men only, insert huge eye roll, he meant all of us....hint hint....)  Simon (Peter), his brother Andrew, and James and John.  Today starts the first day of Ordinary time in our Church.  The Gospel reading is Mark chapter 1 verses 14-20.  If you own a bible, pull it out and re read this selection.  If you don't, google the bible.  It's everywhere.

Today.  We all need to ask ourselves some really hard questions.  Questions that we can ask ourselves whether we have a belief in Jesus or not.  Whether we have a faith in something or not. 

Are we living our lives in such a way that will bring people closer to our way of thinking, or believing, or to Jesus?  Or are we living in such a way that will repel people to our way of thinking, or believing, or to Jesus?  

Our actions, our words, our lives.  Can change people.  But unfortunately, today, with the ease of hiding and spreading our own anger over things, we are too often tempted to just perpetuate that anger and pretend it's all in the name of 'changing minds and hearts....'  It's heartbreaking to see.

If we're serious about bringing people more to our ways of thinking, or believing, or even to the Jesus we feel is the Jesus we all need, we need to think about how we portray ourselves to others.  If anger or ugliness are a part of our mantra to change the world, are we really believing that will happen?   Rethink how Jesus got angry.  Yes, He cursed the fig tree and he turned the tables over in the synagogue, but his actions, didn't perpetuate more hate.  They either converted sinners, or they ran them off because people either saw His goodness and were moved by His love, or were so engrossed in their own sinful way of life they left....  We never see a whole lot of angry, ugly, disrespectful conversations going back and forth of people with Jesus trying to convince Him or vice versa...

That's something to consider as we travel down this path of de-humanizing people one hateful comment after another....

To God be the Glory forever.  And may all of us strive for that path of righteousness that only brings people closer to that same path.  Be the love the world is so starving for....one comment at a time....