Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Potty training, baby cruising, Christmas in October, and other Horrors....

So....

I was feeling like MOM OF THE YEAR yesterday morning....

Wanna know why?

I thought my 2  1/2 year old had potty trained herself.

Yep.

I thought, "I have this parenting thing in.the.bag."

Honestly.  I even put it on Facebook that it was crazy, weird, never planned on doing it, blah, blah, blah...

Giving me her "peace sign and kiss" after going potty on the toilet...



There is where I should have ended this party.

Because despite the beautiful morning of using the bathroom, peeing every time and even pooing on the toilet,  I should have known it was too good to be true!!!!!



Yea-she's adorable alrite....

You see, after an entire morning of pooing and peeing perfectly?  She decided enough was enough.  And pretty much spent the entire afternoon and evening pooing and peeing on everything BUT the toilet.  And let me tell you, I can do a lot of things, I mean, things I never imagined I would EVER do as an adult, or human  for that matter, but there are at least ONE pair of Olaf undies in the trash, and a bit o pride along with them.....

Nothing says, "this parenting is so easy,"  like a humiliating moment.  Not saying her regression indicates a humiliating moment, but wow, you get a little cocky with this parenting and wouldn't it be fitting that the child you're parenting puts you back in your place and reminds you that you are no where NEAR perfect, that each child brings his/her own challenges and hold on, momma,  cause the roller coaster just got a little crazier....

So, this morning, in true crazymomma fashion, since the definition of insanity is doing the same thing OVER AND OVER AGAIN and expecting different results, I put more panties on that little peanut.

Needless to say- after spending the entire morning cleaning up URINE in various places of my home, she is officially back in her cute little Luv Diapers....  Whatever- don't give me that line that I've now contributed to her future on Jerry Springer- cause she's gonna be on that show for completely DIFFERENT reasons- none related to the fact that her momma wised up and decided she in fact, was not ready for undies and my house, is in fact, not a giant litter box....

So, back to the drawing board with that little nut....

But WOW.  This morning I took it hard.  I'm talking, pride hard.  Like, let me look and see exactly where did I mess this up?   I was almost in tears after the third little puddle because we had honestly, just sat on the toilet for TWENTY MINUTES.....  

See, when you potty train, you have to take them CONSTANTLY, so they'll get used to going and you do all these bizarre tricks (which don't work, but we do them anyway) like reading a book, (my most favorite are the "potty books" people have actually spent money on), or turning on the water, or sitting on the floor and begging, pleading with the little terrorist to please use the bathroom....

Image result for meme on potty training
Hahahahahaha....oh  lordy, so true....

All in vain.  The bribing of M&M's that worked so beautifully yesterday morning?   She laughed.  Scoffed even.  I was depleted.  This little, bitty, 23 pound peanut, had me over a barrel and the sad thing was, I was letting her win.... gladly.  

But isn't that how life is?  Sometimes we just want the prize.  We want the prize without actually having to do any struggling or suffering or anything.  We want the easy button and we want it immediately.   And don't you think for one second I wasn't pleading and bargaining with God all.morning.long.   

It sounded something like this:

Lord, I've managed to potty train 5 other children.  Why is this one being so stubborn?  Please?  Lord?  Do you hear me?   Don't you agree with me?   Won't you please  help her pee/poo on the toilet?   I do so much for you.  How about if I do more?  I'll pray more.  How about if I promise not to yell when my kids do something?  How about if I make an extra donation in the collection basket this week.  You hear me, right, Lord?   

Well, He was having nothing to do with helping me with  potty training today, and rightly so.  He's charged me with the care of this little Tazmanian Devil and has certainly promised to listen to me, but in no way has He promised to make raising this terror any easier than it has to be.  Some life lessons are important to learn.  

Like Pride.  Pride is especially important to learn.  We tend to let our society suck us into believing that we are all gods and that things should just work because we exist.  I believe that's the problem with so many people today who suffer from depression or anxiety.  We've let ourselves believe this lie that things should just work and go our way without complication so much so that the first time we face a complication, our worlds literally fall apart and we can't cope.  

Thankfully, I have some amazing people in my life who not only are my biggest cheerleaders, but they are my biggest support team and they assure me daily, that no, it's not  always easy.  No, you aren't always going to "win the big one" or have perfect days everyday, or even, dare I say, get a child potty trained the moment you think it should happen.  I'm always saying I'm like clay in God's hands yet, I struggle with accepting that as a parent of my own children.  

Today, though, my husband sent me the most amazing, amazing text after I had officially given up and put the diaper back on my little Taz-

Look at his words!

Do you see that?  That my friends is true love.  I LOVE that man and thank God every minute I can that  he placed him in my life.  He truly completes me.  He makes me want to be a better person.  I am blessed....So  much so,  I'm able to go on with day, and chop that potty training miracle as just that.  A tiny little miracle to give me hope, that one day that little terror will be in underwear for good....until then, though....there are lots of other fun and exciting things  going on at the crazymomma house up north....


The baby is absolutely moving with unstoppable speed these days.  So much so that I'm terribly afraid that she'll be walking by 10 months at the latest- 9 months at the earliest (she's 8 months and some change).  It's absolutely hysterical to watch this little tiny peanut cruising around the couches and squealing when her siblings call her.... I posted a video of her such cruises.... the Taz two year old is asleep (probably dreaming about the different ways to cause momma to clean up pee...)

video

So the baby is crazy.   The two year old is crazy, and now that I'm liberated and free and can just toss these two yahoos in the bus and go shopping whenever I want, I need to hit some stores and see if there are ANY Halloween decorations left.  The picture below shows what we found when we went to BJ's last weekend.  Seriously.  Halloween dragons and Christmas trees....   Who decorates these stores???  And honestly, can we just try to save Christmas decorations for November 1st?  Or, dare I say it, October 15?  23rd?  30th??  I just don't understand.  It's like when I need winter clothing for my kids.  If I don't hit the stores July 31st?   It's gone.  Nada.  Nothing left.  And forget snow shoes/bibs.   I needed to order those bad boys in April.  That's when they're all on sale.  Now they're jacked up 88% more than they're worth.... Guess it's Wegman's shopping bags for your feet, kids....

Just kidding....


Dragons and Christmas trees.   Just wrong....

Enjoy your hump day..... and do some praying today- you might be pleasantly surprised  what comes of it....


Image result for parenting memes
Excellent analogy....




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